ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
this is an emotional support booty call
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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