First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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