I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
