that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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