I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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