dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize