what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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