good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
