the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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