I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
