i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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