Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
