WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
