Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
