Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
