He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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