Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
