I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
