He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
