I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
