Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
