a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We talked him into tasing himself.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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