So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
