Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
