FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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