Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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