In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize