Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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