Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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