All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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