new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
