me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
