Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
