So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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