yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
