I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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