the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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