You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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