my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
