remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm like, not good at living.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
