Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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