Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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