Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
