I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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