So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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