She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
