I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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