I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
