Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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