Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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