i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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