I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
