I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why do cheetos always look like penises
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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