My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
