thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
