I love black thongs
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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