They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
