I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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