Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
