YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
