he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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