Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
