I just made out with a guy for $7.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
