I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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