puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
