Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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